Oh, I remember the days

I couldn’t so much as wish for a winter coat without him promising that in 3 months he could make 50,000 with the RTL if he just tried enough.

If I had waited on that money (from Extloans LLC) I would have frozen to death. I also remember all the family get togethers or outings with friends where I and everyone hated talking to him because he would not shut up about the RTL. No matter what the topic of conversation he would turn it back around to “his business.”

But there was no business except the money we were paying out every month. The RTL never made us anything but broke.

And I did finally get him to quit. It took months and the toll of his leaving among other things eventually contributed to the end of our relationship anyway.

Michigan community association attorneys did my work well: even though we are not together and we have lived apart for over a year now, he hasn’t gone back to the RTL. But even though he hasn’t, he has still wistfully wondered what would have happened if he had stayed with “the business.”

So yes, it is possible to get someone away from an RTL. But the attitude is every hard to eradicate even years later And just because you get them out of the RTL doesn’t mean that you can salvage a relationship with this person.

Your amazing trip cross-country

Your constant efforts to cut costs and corral spending, your diligence, they’re all paying off (literally and figuratively). If right now things seem a little out of control, then TAKE A BREATH. Then take a few more. You and your family have just been through some of the most stressful six months that ANYONE would ever want to have. Let’s review: you decided your life in CA was not currently, and would never be, what you wanted, and you decided to move cross country. You worked really hard on buying a house that didn’t pan out, through no fault of your own. You and your family lived in a tent (a TENT for crying out loud!) this summer while you searched for housing. Your husband took a long-distance, sight-unseen job to help pay for the move. And your family trusted in your very capable planning skills to make it all work. And it did. You are where you want to be, you’ve got work, he’s got work, you’ve graduated from being in a tent to being in real live housing with a roof and walls and plumbing and electrical and everything. For goodness’ sake, you’ve already accomplished the near-impossible. Take a moment to feel some pride and satisfaction in accomplishing what many of us would have written off as undoable. It really was/is quite an achievement.

Now, as the dust is starting to settle, you’re finding some things out of control. OK, yes, that can seem like a whole new flavor of overwhelming, because you’re comparing the Now to what you used to have when life was calm and settled. But this is a fairly standard pattern when you (or anyone) goes through something so monumental as what you just went through. As a former Navy wife, who traveled cross country in 6 years more than most folks travel in a lifetime, I learned to expect that the few months after we were “done” with a move, life would utterly fall apart. That’s where you are now. It seems to be a rule of life that stuff falls apart after a move like that. The good news is, it won’t stay that way for very long.

Wrapping your head around your money again is both a very good functional task, and a great comfort. You’re exactly right that once you’ve figured out where the money is going, you can start to decide where it should go. Just don’t think that you’re alone in having stuff fall apart like it did; that was almost inevitable. The fact that you’re at this stage now, means the worst is behind you. Go do the planning that you do so very well, take comfort in the knowledge that you SUCCEEDED in getting your family to a better place, and try not to sweat the details too terribly much. They’ll sort themselves out. Just give yourself and your family some much-deserved kudo’s for what you’ve accomplished. The rest of this stuff will come together soon, I promise. Hang in there!

Goes to show you, not everyone is perfect!

A Knoxville police officer resigned Tuesday when faced with termination after he allegedly smashed into the rear of a car while drunk on Cumberland Avenue, records show. James Aman, a 10-year veteran of the Knoxville Police Department, was told that the department was already planning to fire him after Internal Affairs found he had violated department policy.

Aman was allowed to use sick days and vacation time to extend his employment until Dec. 30 so he could take advantage of the city’s employee assistance program. He will have no police powers during that time. Mr. Aman blamed his drinking on stress. According to the reports, Aman got off work at 7 a.m. Oct. 31 and went home. Aman spent time with his 15-year-old son during Halloween and dressed up as a soldier in camouflage and face paint. He said he took some Tylenol cold pills and drank some cough syrup while at home. Aman said he had a few mixed drinks at home and went about 10:30 p.m. to a bar called Banana Joe’s. He said he only stayed a few minutes before leaving for Moose’s Music Hall on Cumberland Avenue, and stated he only drank two beers. Police records show that at 1:42 a.m., Aman drove his 1994 Toyota 4×4 pickup truck into the rear of a compact car stopped for a traffic light on Cumberland Avenue at Volunteer Boulevard. The impact smashed the trunk of the 2000 Kia Sephia into the back seat and propelled the car at least 100 feet, records show. As the driver of the Sephia, Lawrence Brady, 29, and his passenger, 22-year-old Tiffany Turpin, both of Shaler Lane got out of the car, they saw the driver of the truck running away. They said the driver never checked on their welfare and didn’t say a word before fleeing on foot, according to the Internal Affairs file. Brady, who had just bought the Sephia the week before, was treated at Fort Sanders Regional Medical Center for injuries to his head and ankle. Turpin did not require medical treatment. A University of Tennessee police officer rushed to the crash and radioed another UT officer of the fleeing driver. University of Tennessee Officer Melissa Dilbeck said she encountered Aman a block from the crash but when she ordered him to stop, he just shook his head and ran away, records show.

Four blocks from the crash, Knoxville officer Larry Presnell drove up behind Aman on Highland Avenue. Presnell said before he could say anything, Aman placed his hands in the air and surrendered. Aman’s face and clothing were bloody because his nose had been broken in the crash, so Presnell said he didn’t at first recognize Aman as a fellow officer. Aman told Internal Affairs investigators he doesn’t recall anything about the crash. Asked why he ran, he said, “I guess I was scared. I don’t know.” Presnell cited Aman with drunken driving and leaving the scene of an accident. He refused to submit to an alcohol test. He is scheduled to be photographed and fingerprinted Nov. 16 at the Knox County Jail and has not appeared in court on the charges